


viceroy

by albion



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Begging, Clothed Sex, Daddy Kink, Developing Relationship, Humor, Light Bondage, M/M, once they were trashy high school boys in eyeliner, which turned into businessmen in eyeliner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 06:25:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albion/pseuds/albion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not until Erwin shows up to the office on Friday dressed in pastel goth that Levi realises he needs to stage an Intervention.</p><p>or; the trashy fashion industry au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	viceroy

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the lovely [Susie](http://kaijjus.tumblr.com/) <3
> 
> I wasn't sure if I should tag this as #crossdressing or not, but when I wrote this I had in mind Erwin and Levi being vaguely genderfluid. Just so you know.

 

> **viceroy  
>  ** _noun_
> 
>           1. a ruler exercising authority in a colony on behalf of a sovereign.

 

.

 

Levi opens his eyes at 6:15am to the sound of his alarm beeping, makes a face, slams his fist on the offending object, and rolls out of bed.

It always takes him at least an hour to get ready in the morning, another 45 minutes on the road, 50 if the traffic’s bad, and of course there is always the problem of trying to get Erwin up. Waking up Erwin Smith is a feat of spectacular proportions, requiring Levi’s full attention and usually an entire pot full of coffee.

He crosses the narrow hallway in his fleece pyjamas, opens the door to Erwin’s bedroom, and flicks on the light.

“Wake up you piece of shit.”

There’s no movement. If Levi wasn’t so in-tune to Erwin’s sleeping habits by now, he might have thought that the man was dead.

But as it stands, he knows he’s completely and disgustingly alive.

He walks over to the bed, picks up the pillow from where Erwin’s shoved it over his head in his sleep, and leans down close to his ear.

“Wake. The fuck. _Up_.”

Erwin opens one eye and blinks at Levi. His eyes are gross and sleep-encrusted, and his breath is terrible, but he smiles at Levi and Levi feels his heart go all fluttery, the way it always does when Erwin gives him that sleep heavy smile.

“It’s not morning already, is it?”

“You bet your sorry ass it is.” Levi rips the covers back, and revels in the way Erwin flinches at the cold air. “Get up. I’m making coffee for you.”

Erwin grumbles and rolls over, and Levi grabs both of his arms and heaves him out, depositing him solidly onto the floor. He takes one look at Erwin sprawled out on the carpet like an insect who had fallen on its back, sighs, and goes to make the coffee.

 

.

 

Erwin is the managing director at one of the most prestigious fashion companies in the city, Levi as vice manager and his associate.

They share the same office floor, along with Petra at reception, and Erwin’s very good at his job. More surprisingly, he also loves it. Levi is good at his as well, but enjoys it less so than Erwin. Growing up, Levi had always wanted to open up his own little antique shop down on Trost Ave., selling vintage clothing and anything else pseudo-hipsters wanted, but somehow he had ended up in the cutthroat world of the fashion industry instead. He’s still not entirely sure how it had happened, but he suspects it has something to do with Erwin Smith reappearing in his life at a rundown club in Shiganshina late one autumn evening, dressed to the nines in thick warm clothes and staring at the intoxicated Levi, wearing only a thin sweatshirt and dark wash jeans. The details are still fuzzy. However, the money from his job is incredibly nice and it’s comforting in a way, to work with his housemate.

They’re housemates; but they’re not a _thing_ , and Levi would happily punch anyone (read: Hanji) who suggests otherwise.

They’re not a thing. They just live together and work together. And occasionally sleep together.

 

.

 

Although officially Erwin doesn’t do designing anymore, old habits are hard to break and Levi knows that for a while now, when he’s gotten the time, he’s been working on some of his own designs for the winter collection. As Levi sits at his desk one morning, sipping a cup of tea and scowling at some of the most ridiculous things on etsy, Erwin bursts in. He gets so excited about his job sometimes that it’s almost painful to watch.

“Levi!” he says, grin threatening to split his face wide open. “What do you think?” He brandishes his notebook in Levi’s face, the holy grail of all ideas à la Erwin Smith, and Levi has to lean back to actually see it properly.

He raises his eyebrows. Erwin’s covered an entire page in rough sketches of unisex cardigans and sweaters that look vaguely inspired by medieval robes. They’re nice. In fact, they look like something out of Assassin’s Creed, and Levi knows full well that Erwin knows that that video game series is his favourite.

He nods his approval. “Post-apocalyptic almost… but with definite references to medieval designs.” Erwin looks pleased at his reply. “I like them. But you know what you should really be working on, though.”

Erwin’s smile widens. “We all have our vices. What are you doing?” he leans over the desk and peers at Levi’s computer screen upside down. “Frowning at etsy again? You should probably stay off that site. I think it’s doing a number on your health.”

“It’s ridiculous what some people will attempt to sell,” Levi replies. “All they do is stick a pair of goddamn googly eyes on a pen and then claim it’s ‘cute’ and a ‘must-buy’; only $12 not including shipping.”

“You need to get yourself a better hobby,” Erwin replies, and leaves.

 

.

 

The next day is a rare occasion wherein Erwin doesn’t need to be in until 12, so Levi leaves for the office early, taking his own car. He makes his way through downstairs reception, ignoring the way people move aside to let him pass, glares at the two hapless interns, Eren and Jean (whom everyone is convinced are angrily fucking on weekends; Levi doesn’t have an opinion and doesn’t really _care_ either) and rides up to the fourteenth floor alone.

He doesn’t dwell on the lack of Erwin’s presence next to him in the elevator, because it doesn’t matter.

At lunchtime, Erwin shows up in a pair of animal print pants and a long, oversized cashmere sweater. Levi nearly drops a bottle of water on his own foot when he sees him.

“Erwin, what in the name of _hell_ are you wearing?”

Erwin looks down at himself, almost as if he’d forgotten the travesty he had put on. “I thought I needed a change. I’m trying to find my style. I don’t know if it’s working.”

“Your _style?_ What are you, twelve? You’re a thirty-six year old CEO of a major fashion company and now you’re trying to find yourself a _style?”_

“Well, yes. What do you think of this?” he gestures down at the disaster he’s got on.

“I think it’s absolutely terrible and if your mother could see you right now she’d probably have a stroke. I don’t know how _I’m_ not having a stroke right now.”

Erwin almost looks offended. “Suits get boring though.”

“Suits get boring, but you look good in them.”

“So do you.”

Levi tries to ignore the blush that creeps up to his cheeks, and turns quickly around to stare intently at the deeply interesting potted plant in the corner. “Whatever. Please go home and change. I’ll make up some excuse for you.”

Erwin sniffs indignantly, and Levi glances over again. “Don’t tell me you’re actually going to keep that on all day.”

“What’s the point of being the boss here if I can’t wear whatever I want on occasion? Besides, if it gets you this riled up, I think I might do this more often.”

He walks away, laughing at Levi’s expression.

 

.

 

They had met back in high school in the glory days of the nineties, mainly because they were the only two boys in the entire school who had dared to wear eyeliner. Levi had been in the middle of his (“regrettable”) goth stage, while Erwin was coming to terms with the fact that the thought of putting on makeup excited him slightly, and male asses were generally much nicer to look at than female ones.

Levi had closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable bullying to occur; for them to become forced friends out of necessity and a shared sense of “us against the world”. But that had never really happened, something he suspected had to do on his part with the fact that half the school had been afraid of him, and the fact that Erwin was captain of the football team, future valedictorian candidate and just a popular guy in general.

He knew _of_ Erwin of course, but had never really paid much attention to him; the boy from a rich Sina family with great prospects and people hanging onto his every word. Levi didn’t really want people hanging around him all the time, but the thought of having money saved up for college and a decent family life was very enviable.

He and Erwin had never spoken until one day in gym class, March 1994. Levi had been smacking around the ball and making shoots at the hoop, not really slacking off but not putting in much effort either, when suddenly he was aware of a large presence behind him. Whirling, he’d seen Erwin, already so tall and so perfectly built.

“Hi.” Erwin had said, and Levi had looked up into those blue eyes, perfectly rimmed in black.

 _Oh,_ he had thought. _Oh. I’m_ fucked.

 

.

 

(He loves it when Erwin has one of his nostalgic indulgent days and pulls out the kohl again, lining his eyes to bring out the colour of his irises. Levi unashamedly loves boys in eyeliner. He especially loves riding Erwin’s cock when they’re both partially dressed in their tragic high school clothes, pulling his pleasure from him while Erwin moans and grabs his hips in response.

He doesn’t even know how Erwin in nothing but a light wash denim jacket and a cowboy hat does it for him, but he’s in nothing but his own old, ripped band shirt and studded cuffs so he thinks, _yeah. Yeah, I got this._

Erwin cries out with every stroke Levi makes, and Levi moves his hands onto his hips to cover Erwin’s own and thrusts in so deep it’s almost painful.

“Come on, you beautiful fucker,” he gasps, staring straight into Erwin’s eyes. “Wreck me. _Do it._ Come on.”

Erwin shudders and throws back his head.)

 

.

 

“Oh my god. You’re cohabiting.” Hanji had said, when Levi had told her about Erwin’s reappearance and his proposition.

“We are _not,”_ Levi had growled in reply, as he took another sip of his tea. “We just share the rent and we’ll be working in the same place. Erwin’s guaranteed me the job, if I prove myself to be a hard worker.”

“It’s devastating. You’re practically _married,”_ she smirked, blowing on her own coffee, “and you haven’t even realised it yet. Tragic. Next you’ll be having vanilla sex and arguing about broken household appliances.”

“Fat chance.”

 

.

 

For the rest of that week, Erwin shows up every single day in another carefully put together monstrosity, and Levi wonders just what on earth he’s trying to do. He also wonders how no one else in the office has really commented on it, and then opens a new tab on chrome.

He types in “what to do when your boss is having a fashion crisis” into the google search box, then realises just how ridiculous he looks, and deletes it all.

Then he types in “what do you do when you think”, and stops.

He sighs, switches on the radio to a classical music station, and decides Erwin’s strange decisions aren’t his decisions.

He’s just leaving his office for a bathroom break when he hears a loud sigh from Petra’s desk near the elevators. He approaches and stands up on tiptoe to see whatever it is she’s making noises at.

She’s sitting there, half a granola bar in her mouth and scowling down at a magazine.

“Petra. What are you doing?”

She looks up. “Reading _The Garrison_. There’s another article in here denouncing you.” _The Garrison_ is one of the leading fashion magazines, and Survey Corps’ designs and products often grace its pages, but most of the time it’s the trashy gossip articles that keep Survey’s publicity up. Erwin thinks they’re hilarious. Levi wishes people would stop prying into his personal life.

“Oh, what have they got to say now?”

Petra reads aloud. “Just how did he - that’s you, by the way - manage to weasel his way into the top tier of such a prestigious and fashionable company like Survey Corps? The answer is fairly simple: by starting an illicit relationship with Survey’s CEO, Erwin Smith-”

Levi leans over the desk and reaches out his hand. “Give it here.”

“What for?” Petra gives him the magazine, and he rolls it up, sticks it under his arm and sets off again for the bathroom.

“I’m going to use it as toilet paper.”

Petra laughs.

Levi jogs down one flight of stairs, opens the door to the downstairs bathroom, and comes across Jean and Eren sucking face on the toilet.

There’s a good long pause.

“Um,” says Eren, when he realises Levi’s standing there.

Levi gives them a look. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fire you both right now.”

Jean is sporting a spectacular shade of crimson on his cheeks, and Eren looks like a fish out of water, flapping his mouth open and closed.

“Um,” he says again, and Levi rolls his eyes and shuts the door.

 

.

 

“Erwin!” Levi calls, as he exits the bathroom in his robe, wrapping a fluffy white towel around his head. “The water pressure’s gone all shitty again. I think we need someone to come take a look at it.”

Erwin looks up from where he’s seated at the coffee table, documents spread out in front of him and the 9 o’clock news playing on their widescreen television. He’s not really paying attention to either however, as his eyes are intently focused on the laptop screen he’s got resting in his lap. He looks up as Levi enters.

“Again? You sure it’s not just your imagination, Levi? The shower seems fine when I use it.”

Levi scoffs and pulls the towel down so it’s resting around his neck. “I’m certain. I know you found me living in a squalid rundown apartment complex, but I know what good water pressure feels like. Maybe you just have no sense of what makes a good shower.”

“Showers aren’t my speciality,” Erwin murmurs, eyes moving back to his computer screen. “Fashion is. Do you think pastel or beige for the winter collection?”

“Neon,” Levi replies dryly, and disappears into his bedroom.

 

.

 

It’s not until Erwin shows up to the office on Friday dressed in pastel goth that Levi realises he needs to stage an Intervention.

“Oh my god.” he says, looking up from his desk to see Erwin standing in the doorway. He’s wearing an awful mauve sweater and a pair of tight black pants, and the sight is horrifying (and somehow slightly arousing). “You need an intervention.”

Erwin looks down at himself, surprised. “What? I quite like it.”

“You _like_ it? Have you been talking to Hanji again?”

“What’s Hanji got to do with this?”

“Her head’s down the bong so hard she’s positively seeing _Narnia,_ and I’m not about to let you walk down that path as well. Come on, we’re going home to change, and then I’m going to clear out your entire closet. I don’t even know where you got all of those disgusting clothes from.”

Levi practically drags Erwin out of the office, telling Petra to man the cannons while he sorts out his boss.

She does nothing but smile and wave as they disappear through the elevator doors, and in hindsight, it should have occurred to Levi right there and then.

When they get home, Levi practically throws Erwin down on his bed and crosses quickly over to Erwin’s closet. Half of it is casual business wear and on the floor, thrown haphazardly in a large garbage bag, are all the shocking fashion disasters Erwin’s been wearing all week. Levi guesses they had come from some of the rejected outfits down on Auruo’s floor.

Erwin lifts himself up on his elbows and gives Levi a grin.

“Honestly,” Levi says, pulling out a long pair of ripped jeans, “I have no idea what shit you’re trying to pull, Erwin Smith, but it’s ridiculous and you’re making _me_ look ridiculous, so-”

Erwin grabs his wrist and pulls him down onto the bed.

Levi looks up at him. “Erwin. Please.”

“If you’re so intent on getting me out of these clothes,” Erwin whispers, leaning in close so his breath tickles the inner curve of Levi’s ear. “Then get me out of these clothes.”

Levi sucks in a deep breath, and his fingers latch onto the belt loops of Erwin’s pants, dragging him in closer. Erwin smiles in response, undoing the zipper and helping Levi pull the tight fabric down this thighs.

And then it all makes sense.

“You fucker,” he says, as Erwin begins unbuttoning Levi’s work shirt. “This was all your plan to get me riled up, wasn’t it?”

“Partially.” Erwin replies, as he pulls the shirt off Levi’s shoulders. Levi leans forward to let him. “Originally I just wanted to let loose for a change. But when I saw how frustrated it made you, I thought I could use it to my advantage.”

Levi opens his mouth to reply, then closes it again. Erwin seems greatly invested in taking off Levi’s pants, so he lifts his hips and wriggles around a bit, because he knows just how much Erwin likes it.

“You’re such a manipulative bitch,” he says finally, once Erwin’s got him naked and they’re sitting there on the silk sheets, casually running their hands over each other’s bare skin.

Erwin grins, wide-eyed, as he leans down and bites right at the junction of Levi’s neck and collarbone. Levi groans and his hands reach up instinctively, wanting to feel the warm familiarity of Erwin’s broad shoulders in his hands.

“So what’s it gonna be?” Levi asks, when Erwin pulls away and starts rummaging in his bedside drawer for lube and a condom. “Me or you on top?”

“Whatever you want,” Erwin replies, as his fingers close around the small bottle of lube.

“Oh come on,” Levi huffs, crossing his arms. “You pull a mad publicity stunt all week to try and get me all worked up over you, and then you drag us both away from work to fuck me, and now you can’t even decide what you want? You’re a disappointment, Erwin.”

“Fine,” Erwin replies resolutely, dropping the bottle into Levi’s waiting palm. “Spread me open. I want to feel your cock inside me.”

“Jesus Christ.”

 

.

 

Levi’s in the middle of the dancefloor in a club in Shiganshina. He’s long since forgotten the name of it, but his head is hazy with alcohol and he’s grinding up against some guy in leather, so he doesn’t really mind.

The nameless guy grabs onto Levi’s hips and leans in close to breathe against Levi’s cheek. Levi leans his head back against the man’s slightly hairy chest and laughs. The music is ear-splittingly loud and all he can feel is the beat thudding through the sticky wooden floor and warm, sweaty bodies next to him.

Normally he’d be absolutely disgusted to be in such a place, but he got laid off from his shitty convenience store job that morning and Hanji persuaded him to go out instead of drowing his sorrows in alcohol. He can’t remember where Hanji went. Maybe she’s sitting down with their coats. It’s a cold night. Or maybe she’s already left with some person and is fucking them right now. It doesn’t really matter, because Levi just feels exhilarated and free.

He eventually stumbles away from the man he was grinding against and makes his way over to where he remembers last seeing Hanji. She’s still there, sitting and playing with her phone. She looks up when she sees him and winks. He grins back, loose and dizzy.

“You alright, Levi?”

“Never been better,” he slurs, and dumps himself heavily onto one of the stools. Hanji slips her phone into her pocket and stands up.

“I’m going to get myself a drink. Mind watching over our stuff?”

Levi shakes his head no, and Hanji disappears back into the crowd. Levi rests his head onto Hanji’s jacket and wrinkles his nose at the faint smell of chemicals. Knowing her, she hadn’t washed it since her last experiment the week before.

There’s a sound, and Levi looks up, expecting to see Hanji. Instead he comes face to face with a tall blond stranger, dressed sharply. There’s a long black topcoat around his frame and a woollen scarf around his neck, though he’s undoing it quickly in the heat of the club.

“Who are you?” Levi blurts out, and leans back in his chair.

The stranger smiles. “Levi? It’s been a long time.”

Levi frowns. “Do I know you? You don’t look like anybody I know. I know I’ve definitely not fucked you. I’d remember you.”

“Erwin Smith.” The man replies, folding his coat over one arm, and Levi feels the breath knocked out of his lungs.

 

.

 

Levi wakes up mid-afternoon on Saturday, curling up in the covers and yawning loudly. He can hear Norah Jones playing on the stereo somewhere, and the sheets don’t smell like his detergent.

He sits up and realises he’s in Erwin’s bed.

And he can hear Erwin in the kitchen.

Of course, the problem with Erwin in the kitchen is that Erwin can’t cook to save his life, so Levi scrambles out of bed and practically sprints across the hall.

Luckily for him, Erwin’s only standing there at the counter chopping a big pile of fruit, humming along with the music. He looks up as Levi enters, and smiles.

“Morning. Or, afternoon rather. I’m making fruit salad. Want some?”

Levi nods his assent, and goes to fetch himself a large glass of orange juice from the fridge. Erwin puts down two bowls on the table a couple of minutes later, and Levi notes that Erwin’s covered his fruit in Greek yoghurt, just the way Erwin knows he likes it. He grins happily to himself and digs in.

They eat in amiable silence for a little while, before Levi suddenly realises with a sickening jolt that Hanji was right.

She’s been right all this goddamn time.

They’re practically married. Horribly, disgustingly, _domestically_ married.

And the problem is, he can’t seem to find any problem with it at all.

He finishes eating a strawberry and pushes the bowl away. Erwin looks up at him.

“So, Levi. Are you planning to just wear one of my shirts the entire day? Because I won’t lie, I do like the sight of it on you, but you might want to consider putting some underwear on at least.”

“Have you realised we’re married?” Levi asks, the words coming out of nowhere, and Erwin nearly snorts into his coffee.

“Married? How can we be married if we’re not…” he trails off, and Levi pulls a face at him.

“Maybe it’s our midlife crisis. Gross.”

“Oh damn,” Erwin breathes to himself. “I’m too young for a midlife crisis.” He takes another sip of coffee, and laughs softly.

Levi laughs too, and gets up from the table. “I’d better put some clothes on.”

“Levi, wait.” Erwin reaches out and grabs Levi’s shirt sleeve, as it hangs enormous on him. Levi turns around to face him, and mentally makes a face at the cliché romantic comedy gesture. He’s not one for romantic comedies, and neither is Erwin. Their life isn’t a goddamn movie.

Or is it?

“Yes, Erwin?”

“Does it bother you? This?”

Levi pauses to consider. He weighs the pros and cons, thinks about Rico Brzenska at _The Garrison_ and what a field day she’s going to have.

“Not at all,” he replies, and he means it.

 

.

 

The next two weeks pass quickly, the stress of the winter collection hitting everybody. It seems the entire office is running on panic mode, and Levi can’t count the number of times he’s seen Erd and Gunther sprinting past his office on their way between Erwin’s and the elevators, dragging behind them innumerable racks of clothes. Even Petra, beloved Petra, seems to be short tempered when answering the phone, and Levi can’t blame her. Erwin’s not been especially pleased with a lot of the collections the designers have brought out this year, and time is running short before the main show dates come around. Of course, this means that with every collection Erwin’s dissatisfied with, Levi has to find replacements and growl threateningly over the phone with receptionists and pleading designers. Sometimes he wishes he had more of a bleeding heart. Most of the time, however, he’s glad he doesn’t. Fashion is a serious business, no matter what Hanji thinks, and he can’t spend all day sympathizing with people and not bringing Erwin the results he wants.

Erwin makes a rare visit to his office one day, holding two belts in his hands and a cup of coffee in the other. Levi, who has his computer screen open and on display, stops. They stare at each other for a good long moment.

“Levi. Is that-”

“I’m selling Eren on ebay,” Levi replies nonchalantly, and kicks the door back shut.

He gets a text two minutes later.

_Please stop trying to sell our interns on the internet._

_or what?_

_I might have to fire you._

_ha. just try. you'll be toast in a week without me._

_Don't push your luck, Levi._

_heh._

.

 

With the stress of work comes an even greater need for stress relief, and fairly frequently Levi finds himself falling into Erwin’s bed at the end of the day. There’s no time for their usual games of dress up; it’s quick and punishing, the way Levi likes it when he’s tense and highly strung. Erwin manhandles him onto his stomach and enters him quickly, and Levi bites back the moans that threaten to erupt from his mouth.

“Come on Levi,” Erwin groans from above him, “let me hear you.” He bites down on Levi’s shoulder and in response Levi bites down hard on his lip. Finally he cranes his neck around to look at Erwin’s face, flushed with arousal and his immaculate hair falling down over one eye.

He pulls out the kink card, one he knows unravels Erwin instantly.

“You need to do better than that, _daddy_.”

And Erwin moans deep in his throat and grabs Levi’s hips almost viciously, pulling him back so that his cock’s filling him up completely and Levi can’t help it but to close his eyes and let out a high pitched whine.

“You dirty, _filthy_ boy,” Erwin replies, as Levi grins to himself. “Using language like that. I should punish you.”

Levi’s always been a little shit, and they both know it. Levi knows Erwin _revels_ in it.

“Then punish me good, daddy,” he replies, and shakes when one of Erwin’s hands grabs his hair in a tight grip and pulls his head back so that the muscles in his neck strain and he can hardly breathe. “Fuck your little boy.”

“Oh fuck,” Erwin swears, and comes hard.

 

.

 

The first time they had sex, Erwin had just finished up a difficult business deal with Survey’s rivals, the Police, a military inspired company, and had returned home with a bottle of cognac and Chinese takeout.

Levi, who was still trying to get used to the fact that he was now living and working with Erwin Smith, the boy he knew back from high school, had given him a wide berth the entire evening, staying in his bedroom and flipping through a book of Islamic art he’d picked up at Barnes and Noble earlier that day. Levi’s not unintelligent, no matter what his parents and university professors thought, and he so desperately wants to educate himself and feel at least on par with _someone_ in his new office work setting.

He’s not dumb, and he knows exactly what the people at Survey think of him. They think Erwin’s a fool, letting Levi in without so much as a reference or a degree in fashion design. As it stands, Levi’s got a bA in English, and he’s pretty proud of it. But he knows Erwin went out on a limb in seeking him out, and he’s not going to disappoint him if he can help it.

There’s a sound from outside Levi’s bedroom door, and Levi sighs, closes the book and pulls back the doorknob to come face to face with none other than his housemate, seemingly quite intoxicated and struggling to open a small bag.

“Erwin.”

“Levi,” Erwin replies, “would you mind awfully?” He eventually manages the zipper open and pulls out an eyeliner pencil, brandishing it in the hallway light. Levi sucks in a harsh breath through his teeth. He’d thought Erwin had gotten over that. _He_ certainly had.

“You want me to put makeup on you?”

“It helps me relax,” Erwin confesses. “I don’t need to think about anything.” Then he bites his lip. “I’m sorry, I’ll go-”

Levi had grabbed Erwin and pulled him into his bedroom.

(Turns out, he hadn’t quite gotten over boys in eyeliner either).

 

.

 

Levi calls up Hanji the day after his and Erwin’s little domestic scene and sighs, tapping his fingers against the wood of his home desk as he waits for her to pick up. She’s always terrible with her cellphone; leaving it places while she runs around her lab in a constant state of glee at the bacterial forms she calls work.

He’s never understood how anyone could sit in a bleached white environment peering through a microscope all day and not want to murder themselves by the end of it, but he supposes that’s why Hanji is Hanji, and he is Levi.

Hanji finally picks up, and Levi hears the sound of water running in the background.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re trying to wash the dishes whilst talking on the phone. We all remember what happened last time you did that.”

“I thought you’d be glad I’m doing the dishes in the first place,” comes Hanji’s smug reply, and Levi represses a shudder at the thought of how long Hanji could keep a plate in the sink before deciding that the bacterial growth on them was too close to home. She’d probably try studying it. “So, what’s up?”

“You were right.”

“I was right? Right about what?”

“I’m married to Erwin,” he confesses, and notices the way the sound of Hanji scrubbing ceases. “And the worst thing is, I can’t bring myself to care. At all. In fact, I think I fucking _like_ it.”

Hanji laughs, and Levi knows she’s doing her throwing-her-head-back-and-cackling-like-a-witch laugh, the one he’d wanted to murder her for back in university. Now it’s comforting.

“Oh Levi,” she says finally, once her laughter’s ceased, “it’s taken you… what, 5 years to realise? And just how long have you been fucking him before you realised this?”

“None of your business,” Levi snaps, but he can’t stop the smile on his face.

“Is he good in bed? I’ll bet he is.”

“I am hanging up now.”

“Now I _know_ he is.”

“Bye.”

 

.

 

They’re in the middle of sex, Levi tied up to the bedpost on Erwin’s bed with his own tie and Erwin’s tongue halfway up his ass when suddenly Erwin stops and looks up at Levi from between his legs.

“What?” Levi growls irritably.

“I’ve got it,” Erwin breathes, and he sounds like he’s having an epiphany.

Levi frowns, but before he can say anything Erwin’s slid off the bed and is casually padding his way over to his desk, where all his sketches and the finalized designs for each collection are kept.

“What the fuck,” Levi snaps. “Get the fuck back over here and finish what you were doing.”

Erwin grabs himself a pencil and starts writing madly, before looking down at his notebook, nodding to himself, and disappearing from the room.

“I’m calling Mike!” he shouts back, “Don’t mind me!”

Levi thrashes about on the bed, kicking his heels up and flailing, but the knots keeping him to the bedpost are secure and he can’t move. He’s dressed only in his business shirt and socks, sleeves pushed back against his shoulders and his cock hard and curving up towards his abdomen.

“You nasty goddamn fucker!” he yells, “don’t you dare fucking leave me here like this!”

He hears the sound of Erwin dialling, and plans a murder.

 

.

 

Of course, it turns out that Erwin’s ‘revelation’ was in fact a stunningly brilliant idea which involved using diamonds and orchids on the winter dresses and coats, and Levi admits that the results are spectacular, so he doesn’t mind. Too much.

But then again, he _does_ make Erwin pay him back in full the night of the fashion show after they’ve had a little too much champagne and far too much tedious small talk with innumerable celebrities and designers. Levi’s never understood how Erwin can navigate and tolerate all the glorious bullshit that occurs in the public sphere of their occupation. Erwin shrugs and tells him that he’s always had a talent for it; both his parents being in business. Erwin’s a good businessman, just as he is a good designer. He knows how to smile and say the right thing at the right moment.

Levi’s always been an erupting pot of emotions; only able to control his outbursts to a certain degree, and there’s only so much insincerity and superficiality of the fashion world he can take in one night. Maybe that’s why Hanji’s his best friend.

He apologizes to a woman’s smiling red lips, and speedily navigates Erwin away from the flash of cameras and into their private car. The windows are tinted and it’s a fact Levi is eternally grateful for; for with fashion shows also comes Erwin in the best tuxedos money can buy, and while Levi loves Erwin in terrible clothes and eyeliner, looking like a tragic high school boy again, he also adores Erwin in well-tailored suit.

Their driver doesn’t even blink an eyelid as Levi grabs onto the sleeves of Erwin’s suit jacket and practically sticks his tongue down Erwin’s throat. Erwin only moans and grabs onto Levi’s waist, and Levi sighs at the feeling of Erwin’s hands on his body.

He _hates_ feeling like he’s short or small, but Erwin has a way of making him feel so perfectly proportioned next to him. It’s probably the way Erwin can throw him around on a bed like he weighs nothing, but that fact Levi’s ashamed to admit even to himself.

“Back to the hotel, sirs?” the driver says, and Erwin just nods, as his hands come up to grab Levi’s hair. Levi hisses at the pain of Erwin pulling on the short strands, and kisses him harder.

When they spill into their shared hotel room, laughing breathlessly, Levi looks up at Erwin’s tousled hair and his heart threatens to spill over in a gigantic puddle of disgusting feelings he doesn’t want to think about in that moment.

The room is all gold and cream and bouquets of roses everywhere, and normally Levi would be admiring the expense and the interior design, but all he can see right now is Erwin in that black tux and that tie and _Erwin._

Erwin’s a sly bastard, as much as he’s a suave bastard, and it comes to no surprise that he’s packed lube and condoms in his suitcase. There’s a bit of tipsy manoeuvring and the shedding of clothes and underwear before Erwin’s got Levi straddling his hips, stroking his cock. Erwin leaves his tie on, and Levi _loves_ it.

He squirms on Erwin’s lap and revels in the feeling. Having Erwin on top of him is one thing, but he loves riding him even more; thrusting hard and deep and watching Erwin’s face crumple in ecstasy.  He loves knowing he can pull these expressions from him, and he loves feeling so desired.

They continue grinding together for a while, and Levi lets out a choked moan as their cocks rub together, hands clutching Erwin’s wrists tightly. His fingers are sweaty and he’s slightly repulsed by the sensation of his slippery fingers against Erwin’s equally sweaty skin, but he pushes it aside and focusses on the sensation of being absolutely in control.

“Levi,” Erwin gasps, trying to move his hands to grab onto Levi’s hips. Levi’s hands only grip tighter and refuse to let him. It’s fun, to watch Erwin completely helpless underneath him, shuddering and writhing. Levi grinds down harder and Erwin makes a strangled sound, bucking up his hips against Levi’s own.

Then Levi has an idea. He releases his grip on Erwin’s wrists and grabs a hold of Erwin’s tie, a beautiful one from Calvin Klein. Erwin looks up at him, eyes betraying nothing, and Levi pulls it off in a fairly smooth motion. Then he shifts and leans forward, and Erwin groans with the sensation.

“Levi…” Erwin breathes, as Levi holds out the tie in front of him in a blatantly erotic fashion. “What…?”

“Close your eyes, big boy.” And Levi loops the tie around Erwin’s eyes and ties a quick knot.

The sight of Erwin blindfolded is incredibly arousing, but even more so is the knowledge that now Erwin can’t anticipate Levi’s movements. Quickly, Levi pours lube onto his fingers and spreads himself open, aware of Erwin reaching behind himself to grab onto the headboard, playing along. Levi smirks and finishes opening himself up, and then drapes himself over Erwin, clutching at his wrists again and preventing Erwin from moving them. Erwin opens his mouth desperately, and Levi indulges him, kissing him sloppily and biting his lower lip. Erwin gasps and Levi positions himself atop of Erwin’s cock, so hard and ready for him.

“Do you want me to ride you?”

Erwin moans, a low, rich sound, and Levi tuts. “That’s not an answer, Erwin. Come on. Tell me how much you want me. Tell me how much you want me on your cock, like your little personal whore.”

“Levi,” Erwin begs, “Levi, please. _Please._ ”

“Please wait?”

“Please get on my cock.” And his voice sounds strained with the effort of not bucking his hips upward.

Levi leans in close. “And who are you talking to, Mr. Smith?”

“My whore, my beautiful, goddamn _teasing_ whore-”

Levi cuts Erwin off with a shallow bite to his inner arm. “Wrong answer. I’m not your whore. You’re mine.”

“Levi-”

“But looks like luck’s in your favour, because that really turned me on anyway.” And Levi finally lowers himself onto Erwin, moaning at the sensation of suddenly being filled. Erwin groans and lets out a deep breath, and Levi barely waits to let himself adjust before he’s moving his hips back and forth, milking Erwin for all he’s worth.

“God,” Levi moans, as Erwin lifts his hips and thrusts up deeper, “God, you’re so fucking hot like this Erwin… God-”

Erwin comes suddenly with a loud, drawn out moan, and Levi keeps on moving his hips until he hears Erwin hiss at the overstimulation. He lifts himself off carefully and releases Erwin’s hands, who reaches down blindly, searching for Levi’s cock. He grabs hold of him and Levi moans in response.

As Levi reaches to whip off the tie around Erwin’s eyes, Erwin leans in for a kiss. It’s a haphazard motion and they end up bumping noses, but Levi’s nothing but good at quick manoeuvres, and soon they’re kissing deeply, Erwin pumping Levi with firm, quick strokes.

Levi comes with a shudder all over himself and Erwin’s hand, and Erwin pulls away to pull the condom off himself. As Levi hears the sound of the latex, he makes a face and pulls away. “Oh ew.”

Erwin laughs, a deep rich laugh. “Sorry, it was starting to feel strange.”

“Go put that thing in the garbage, please.”

Instead, Erwin waves it in front of Levi’s face, and Levi growls and swats his hand away. “Get that disgusting thing out of my face, you gross old man.”

“One that you just fucked.”

“Ha. I’ll try not to make a habit of it.”

Erwin gets up and makes his way over to the garbage can, which, like everything in this ridiculous hotel room, is also cream coloured with a gold rim. “Ouch. I’m offended, Levi.”

“Good.” Levi disappears into the bathroom and wets a flannel, rubbing it quickly over his stomach to clean himself up. Erwin soon joins him and washes his hands at the sink. Levi tries not to smile at Erwin’s mussed up hair and his positively fucked out, blissful face, knowing that he’s entirely responsible.

They re-join each other on the bed, and Erwin pulls the covers close over them both. Levi breathes deeply for a while, and then opens his eyes.

“I want a drink.”

“Same,” Erwin agrees, and pushes back the covers again, walking in all his naked glory over to the complementary tea and coffee sitting on the table.

Levi pats the covers down around him and waits for Erwin to make him a cup of coffee; cream and two sugars, just the way he likes it. He feels positively married. And he loves it.

“So, Levi.” Erwin says, as he sits down on the bed with his own cup. It’s as if he’s read Levi’s mind, because the next words out of his mouth are, “when’s our highly publicized and long awaited wedding?”

“No idea,” Levi replies casually, taking a sip. “Didn’t think we should bother with one. Why would it change anything anyway? We’d just do the exact same thing we do right now, except now there’s a piece of paper and the government involved.”

“Well, it’d certainly give the press something to talk about.”

“The press _always_ have something to talk about, involving us.”

“Not to mention Mike would have to give Hanji quite a bit of money.”

Levi looks up. “What?”

“Our respective best friends have a betting pool as to which of us is going to propose to the other first. Mike’s betting on you. Hanji’s got me.” Erwin’s grinning.

“Those fuckers,” Levi says into his cup. Then he looks up again at Erwin. “Wait. Are you _proposing_ to me?”

“Only if you want it,” Erwin replies, setting his cup down on the bedside table and crawling over the bed towards him. “Do you want me to?”

Levi sets down his own cup to avoid spilling coffee on the sheets. “This is the most unromantic proposal I’ve ever been subject to.”

“And you’ve had plenty of proposals, have you?”

“Of course,” Levi smiles. “I’m hot shit, didn’t you know?”

“Oh, I know that all too well,” Erwin whispers, and Levi closes his eyes. “Besides, I really won’t deny I like the idea of you being my wife.”

“Ha,” Levi says, picking up a pillow and swatting Erwin’s head with it. “Wife? Don’t make me laugh. I’m not the wife in this relationship. You are.”

“I’m fine with that.”

Erwin plops himself down heavily, head on Levi’s lap, and Levi swallows at the sight. He looks like a giant golden retriever. A big, goddamned _puppy._

He doesn’t know if they’ll ever actually get married, but he doesn’t quite care.

It’s only a piece of paper.

They’ve been married for years anyway.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't look at me I am thoroughly happy with all my life decisions [shrieks and flies away]
> 
> [sassanids.tumblr.com](http://sassanids.tumblr.com)


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